What can I say? There are no words to describe the loss and pain. And even more, nothing I can say will ever show how much he did for me. You just had to meet him once to know that you were in the presence of a holy man, a tzadik.
I once said at a Friday night dinner how I grew up reading stories about heroes, who with super powers would save the world, and I was convinced they did not exist in the real world until I met Rabbi Dubrawsky. A real hero through and through, who literally saved lives. The silent hero that would hold us up and carry us throughout the most difficult times and bring out the best in us.
He would care for every person with such kindness that would touch his neshama and bring it to life.
It only took one of his shiurim for me to know what it means to be a Jew and to choose this way of life. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for him.
I remember the first time I walked into his class, I was about to leave cause I didn't belong there and he said with such a warm smile that the class was for everyone and I could stay if I wanted to. Words that are spoken with the heart enter the heart, that's how he taught every class. A true teacher is the one that not only shares the knowledge but lives by his teaching with such a passion that it ignites that same fire in his students. Rabbi Drubrawsky taught this way. It was that passion and love for Yiddishkiet and Chassidus that inspired me to the point of changing my entire life for it.
It wasn't easy. But Rabbi Dubrawsky was there every step of the way. Even at those moments when I didn't even know that I would be able to go through with it he knew. He patiently waited until I would be ready to choose this life for myself, even when we both knew that it would happen sooner or later.
While working at Chabad, everyday he would take the time to ask me how I was doing, if everything was OK Even with his entire busy schedule, even with all the worries and challenges, he would take the time to talk to me and make sure I was fine. What did I do to deserve such attention? Nothing. Yet, to him everyone was important in their own right.
Even while being in Mexico, so far away, he was there for me. Every week, he would make time for me. And he would encourage me make the most out of the situation. He always had a word of Torah, a piece of advice that would keep me going, that would make me know that the struggle was worth it. Nobody believed in me like he did, even when I didn't believe in myself. In my darkest times, with no judgement he would listen and encourage me to turn around and be the best I could be.
His teachings and advice have stayed with me and will continue to guide me for the rest of my life.
He would encourage everyone to know and learn Torah, questions being as important as the answer. All I know is because of him; he would say that if you don't ask questions you are not learning. Judaism came to life through him, a living example of a G-dly man. A teacher so great that could explain the deepest concepts at the listener's level and make it real because he meant every word.
Like a true chossid, nothing was more important than to do the Rebbe's work: to bring light into the world. The leader that would guide support the community physically and spiritually and he did it with such humility, never expecting any reward, always thinking of others and putting himself aside. He would always say that what we can do to help ourselves is to help others.
So how do we do it? How do we keep going without him? Only he would have an answer that could comfort us.
One of the last times we spoke he said the following: "Nothing inn this life is certain, except for Torah and mitzvot. So if you are going to hold on to something, let it be Torah and mitzvot because they are G-dly"
I think this is the only thing that will give us some peace, to hold on to Torah and mitzvot.
Chaya (Martha) Diaz
Vancouver BC - Crown Heights NY
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